


More Trouble, Regarding Unicorns

by SolarMorrigan



Series: Qnicorn [2]
Category: James Bond (Craig movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Urban Fantasy, Bond is there via text message, Embarrassment, M/M, Unicorns, bullshit magical reasons for things
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-29
Updated: 2018-09-29
Packaged: 2019-07-20 09:41:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16134647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SolarMorrigan/pseuds/SolarMorrigan
Summary: Q visits home for spring break, and finds himself to suddenly be of great interest to his family's unicorns. He is not impressed with the reason why





	More Trouble, Regarding Unicorns

**Author's Note:**

> Hey so I guess I'm writing more of this. I have... other ideas? for this universe?? This was supposed to be a one-off, but okay, whatever
> 
> (I'm actually having a lot of fun. Enjoy, I hope!)

If there are two things that can be said about unicorns, it is that they are very loyal, and very sensitive to magic.

At the very least, these are the two qualities that cause Q the most trouble when he comes home from uni for spring break.

See, unicorns have a long memory for people they trust and care about, and they have a good sense for the personal energy of these people. There are certain things that can change your personal energy, and unicorns are sensitive to it.

A brush with death can change a person’s energy, for instance. Having a child can change it.

Having sex for the first time can change it.

(This is the one that trips Q up.)

Unicorns do not, as myths say, prefer virgins. They _are_ , however, able to tell when a person has lost one’s virginity (had fully consenting sex for the first time, that is). It’s something to do with an exchange of personal energy between two people, or a redirection of the flow of it? Q doesn’t remember, exactly; sex ed was a long time ago and he’s studying fantastical veterinary science, not physical magic. The point is–

The point is, when he gets back to the ranch, ready for a nice, relaxing spring break, the unicorns are all suddenly _very interested_ in him.

Not the sort of interested they usually are when he comes home for holidays and breaks, because they always flock to welcome him back, happy to see him return after however long he’s been gone; it’s the sort of interested that implies they’re not going to leave him alone until they figure out what’s changed about him.

They seem a little startled by him at first, as if they think he’s someone different than they expect, but they get over that quickly enough and start nosing around his clothes. He nudges them away, insisting he doesn’t have any treats for them, he’s only just got back.

Then Amaranth licks up the side of his face.

Q makes a disgusted noise but also laughs because, yes, there’s now unicorn spit on his face and in his hair, but he’s kind of used to it. He grew up with Amaranth; he’s been covered in more than the unicorn’s spit.

Except then Raspberry, his eldest cousin’s own unicorn, does the same thing to the other side of his face, which she’s never done possibly ever. Raspberry has always been very aloof in her affection towards pretty much everyone except Q’s cousin Tam, and yet here she is, licking him and nudging at him with her large nose and this is all getting a little weird.

Q tries to shift away from the small gathering of unicorns he’s attracted, but they follow after him, still very sincerely inspecting him, and Q can’t quite figure out what’s gotten into them.

It’s only when he looks up and finds the whole lot of his cousins gathered not far off, all home for Ostara, it bloody figures, and _snickering_ that the penny drops.

He remembers almost every one of his cousins going through this at some point (all before him, because he’s the _baby_ of the family, of course he is) except for his cousin Dean who’s happily asexual and oh good holy gods he isn’t _ready_ for his entire family to know about James and he absolutely isn’t ready for his entire family to know that he’d had _sex_ with James except here comes his grandmother now, all teary-eyed, good _gods_.

His grandmother shoos the unicorns away with unfair ease and gathers Q up to her chest, unicorn spit and all, and sniffles something about how _her baby’s all grown up_ and Tam actually starts laughing so hard she has to sit down. Raspberry helpfully trots over and licks up the side of Tam’s hair, which is somewhat satisfying to see, until Q’s grandmother pulls back and demands to know why Q hasn’t brought his boyfriend home for the holiday.

Q isn’t entirely sure what he says then, well beyond mortified, but is fairly certain he mutters something about wanting to just spend time with his family before immediately contradicting himself by saying he’d like to go be alone in his room for a bit. He does manage to wriggle out of his grandmother’s clutches after that, however, and absconds.

He promptly holes himself up in his room. He considers staying there for the remainder of his visit, but decides in the end that’s not really feasible. He’ll probably need to eat eventually. He then considers returning to school—surely there’s something else unsavory left for him to dissect?—but decides it’s not worth the trip. He’ll just have to face his family, supposes.

For the moment, though, he pulls his phone out and types and erases a few texts to James.

 _‘Our relationship’s been outed by unicorns. Terribly sorry.’_ is what he finally decides on before hitting send. He’s never been anything but direct with James before – why start now?

The reply comes not more than a few minutes later: _‘need rescue?’_

Q smiles. It’s sweet of James to offer to put his own spring break plans on hold (and Q does consider it for a moment; maybe he could climb out the window, it’d all be very dramatic), but Q sends back a response in the negative.

_‘Thanks, but no. Be ready to deal with family-induced trauma when I see you next.’_

_‘will prepare a blanket and a bunch of those cute dragon videos you binge after exams’_

Well, Q supposes, still grinning like an utter idiot at his phone, at least there’s that to look forward to. Besides, how bad could the rest of the week be?

Comparatively speaking, anyway.

**Author's Note:**

> Also posted on [Tumblr](http://solarmorrigan.tumblr.com/post/178581941608/more-trouble-regarding-unicorns)


End file.
